Do you have a sweetheart who sends you loving emails but you have never met in person? Does he say you make him feel like he’s known you forever? But you can’t arrange a date because he’s in the military overseas. Did you send him money when his bank account was frozen last month? And are you now about to invest more of your savings in an online portfolio that’s been slowly draining your bank account? Many do.

1. Introduction

A romance scam involves gaining the affection of a victim by deceitful romantic intentions and then using that goodwill to persuade the victim to send money to the scammer. Investment fraud, an insidious variant of the romance scam, usually involves a high yield investment program scam. In 2021, the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre reported receiving complaints of romance scams totaling $50 million. (here) In 2023, the United States Federal Trade Commission reported that victims lost $1.14 billion to romance scams. (here) And in 2024 Canadians reported $58 million in romance scams to CAFC. (here) More recent numbers reveal that Canadians lost $54,684,677.69 to romance scams during the first nine months of 2025. (here) According to CAFC, romance scams and investment frauds are on the rise as vulnerable targets continue to send money to sweethearts they never met in person. (here) How then, are these scams deployed, and what are the telltale signs that give scammers away?

2. The Romance Scam

The steps of a carefully crafted romance scam were described in a post to the Fight Cybercrime website titled The Anatomy of a Romance Scam published on October 6, 2025. I have edited the steps as follows:

• Step One: The Perfect Introduction. Scammers often use dating sites, social media platforms or even gaming apps to find potential victims. They’ll create a profile that feels authentic and appealing, often using stolen photos of attractive people, adding details that seem genuine, and telling a story that resonates. They use psychologically developed scripts and often research their targets.
• Step Two: Building Trust and Connection. After the initial contact, the scammer shifts gears to build trust. They begin to message regularly, remember details about your life and show interest in what matters to you. This stage can last weeks or even months. Scammers are patient because they know the longer they build the relationship, the stronger the emotional bond becomes. A scammer will avoid meeting in person using excuses such as they are working overseas, are in the military or travel for business. The consistency in the story and how caring they are helps to make it seem real. “I feel like I’ve known you forever,” he says.
• Step Three: Creating Urgency and Sympathy. When the emotional connection is strong, the scammer will introduce a problem. It is usually something that tugs at the heart – a sudden medical emergency, a business deal gone wrong or an issue that supposedly puts them in danger. It’s always urgent and makes you feel like you’re the only one who can save them. “I’m stuck overseas and I can’t get home without help,” he says.
• Step Four: The Ask, Sending Money or Sharing Information. Eventually, the scammer makes their move. They ask for money directly or they start with smaller requests like gift cards, cryptocurrency or even help with transferring funds. Some scammers don’t ask for money at all. Instead, they talk victims into sharing personal information like social security numbers, banking details, or photos that can be used for blackmail later. Scammers rarely stop after the first request.
• Step Five: The Disappearing Act (or Not). It can be easy to believe that the scammer will disappear after they get the money. Often, however, they stick around to keep milking the relationship. They may apologize for needing so much help, promise to pay you back or keep dangling the dream of a shared future.

Romance scams work because they’re built on connection and human emotions like love, trust, and empathy. The risk of being duped skyrockets when loneliness and vulnerability are added to the mix. The post emphasized that the romance scam is not about about being naive. It’s about being human. (here) And in a piece titled The Psychology Of Romance Scams – Why People Fall For Them, posted to the Dating Advisory website on September 12, 2025, the question was asked, “Why do intelligent, rational people fall for such deception?” The answer, it was argued, lies in psychology. Scammers exploit natural human emotions such as hope, loneliness and vulnerability to manipulate their targets. “At the core of every romance scam is a universal truth: humans are wired for connection.” (here)

3. The Investment Fraud

The investment scam, often called “pig butchering”, is a form of online fraud in which the scammer cultivates a fake romantic or social relationship with a target as groundwork to persuade them to invest money in a fraudulent scheme. In a post to Investopedia titled “Pig Butchering” Scams Explained: What They Are and Red Flags to Spot Early updated today, Adam Hayes described pig butchering as a “type of confidence-based fraud in which scammers create fake online personas to lure victims into investment schemes.” (here) The term is derived from the scammers’ practice of “fattening up” targets by building trust over time before “slaughtering” them by stealing their money. Describing pig butchering scams as “sophisticated and often follow[ing] a well-orchestrated process to deceive victims”, Mr. Hayes said these scams typically follow a similar pattern which I have condensed below:

1. Creating a Fake Persona: Scammers create phony online identities often posing as successful investors or attractive singles. These identities are crafted to appeal to a target’s interests and vulnerabilities. They often use stolen images scraped from the internet or generated by artificial intelligence. The use of fake backstories enhances credibility.
2. Initiating Contact: Scammers will initiate contact with potential victims on dating apps and social media. Phone calls, emails and text messages are also in the toolkit. They may use scripts to develop conversation and gauge the victim’s receptiveness. They often cast a wide net, contacting numerous potential victims in the hope of finding one who takes the bait.
3. Building Trust: Scammers spend weeks or months building a relationship with the victim by feigning romantic interest or investment experience. They engage in friendly communication that shows interest in the victim’s life and share personal stories to create a false sense of intimacy or rapport.
4. Introducing Investments: When trust is established, the scammer may steer the conversation in the direction of an online investment often involving cryptocurrency or foreign exchange. This is usually framed as an opportunity to build a future together or help the victim acquire wealth quickly.
5. Prompting Deposits: The scammer will convince the victim to download a supposed investment app or visit a fraudulent investment platform. They walk the victim through the process of creating an account and making an initial deposit. The initial deposit is usually a small amount designed to lower the victim’s guard. Scammers may even let the victim withdraw from the account to build further trust and make the investment seem legitimate.
6. Manipulating Further Investment: When the victim has made an initial deposit, the scammer will use manipulated data and fake reports to show large returns on the investment. They encourage the victim to invest more money to capitalize on this supposed success often using time-sensitive offers or claiming that a big opportunity is about to pass.
7. Vanishing Act: When the scammer has extracted as much money as possible, they abruptly terminate all communication and disappear.

Many law enforcement agencies have posted information to their websites about romance and investment scams including the FBI, Europol and the RCMP. These public service bulletins contain tips about how to recognize common patterns used by scammers to help spot manipulation before it escalates. I have taken the following early signs from the Europol website. Someone you have recently met online expresses strong feelings very quickly and encourages a sense of closeness or exclusivity early on. They may suggest moving private conversations to another platform or portray the relationship as unusually intense. You may be encouraged to share private or intimate images as a sign of trust or emotional connection particularly if meeting in person or by video is delayed. This kind of disclosure may be used later to exert pressure or control. When trust is established, the conversation may turn towards money, gifts, investments or requests for banking details often framed as necessary to overcome a setback. (here)

4. In The Courts

The facts in the reported cases in Canada disclose scams that followed the predictable pattern described by the Ontario Court of Justice and the Ontario Superior Court of Justice as “romance scams” and the Alberta Court of King’s Bench as “romance frauds”. The defendants in these three examples were charged with fraud contrary to s. 380 of the Criminal Code of Canada.

In R. v. Usifoh, Justice Howard Borenstein of the Ontario Court of Justice convicted Davidson Usifoh of scamming $136,369.61 from Susan Waner, a widow living in Nebraska. (here) She was initially contacted by a man named “Michael Girnius” through a dating website. He told her he was also a widow and owned a construction company in Toronto. They never met and only communicated by email and phone. He said he wanted to marry her and that he lost an important hard drive containing sensitive business information and had to close his bank accounts. He was unable to pay his employees and was in jeopardy of losing a large construction contract. He sent her documents purportedly showing he had millions of dollars in the bank. Ms. Waner sent him money through Western Union and Moneygram.

In R. v. Egbobawaye, Justice C.J. Conlan of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice dismissed an alternative suspect application brought by the defendant who sought to argue at trial that a man named “Justin Asoata” was involved in the scheme. Justice Conlan held there was no argument that someone else, not the defendant, defrauded the complainant. It was simply a theory that there were others, including Justin, involved in the scam and Mr. Egbobawaye “did not knowingly, recklessly, or with wilful blindness defraud the complainant.” In this romance scam, the complainant was persuaded to send money to various bank accounts held by fake persons. Surveillance footage allegedly showed the defendant using bank cards associated with the accounts to withdraw money. The police obtained a warrant to search his residence and seized incriminating bank documents, notebooks and cash. (here)

In R. v. Kent, Justice Melanie Hayes-Richards of the Alberta Court of King’s Bench granted an application by Edmonton prosecutors to have the defendant designated a dangerous offender following his guilty pleas to five counts. (here) Described as a “serial fraudster” he devised sophisticated schemes and false personas to lure the victims into romantic relationships. He manipulated them to give him money which he used to support a lavish lifestyle and gambling addiction. When the deception was discovered by one victim, he moved on to the next “leaving behind a wake of life-altering consequences for each victim.” Justice Hayes-Richards found that some victims were left financially destitute and all suffered psychological injury including paranoia, shame, social isolation and suicidal ideation that “constitute[d] a substantial interference with their psychological integrity, health or well-being.”

The reasons for judgment in Usifoh are of interest because the scam was initiated by a standard strategy generally called an “unsolicited contact”. Justice Borenstein found the complainant was first contacted by a “phishing email scam emanating out of Nigeria and Dubai.” An unsolicited contact is listed as the first warning sign of a pig butchering scam by Mr. Adams in his piece for Investopedia. It is unclear from the ruling in Egbobawaye how the complainant was first contacted. It appears from online media that it may have been on a dating site. (here) In Kent, the offender met all the victims on dating sites. Although he concocted phony personas, he didn’t maintain anonymity. He lived with three of them. The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre highlights “fake profiles on social media and dating sites” as a common way for scammers to make the initial contact.

5. Conclusion

Leverage is frequently cited as a primary reason why victims don’t get out of a romance scam before experiencing financial ruin. They’ve been emotionally leveraged. They are compelled to continue to help because they are already vested in the relationship. It is a powerful part of the anatomy of the scam. Saying “no” feels like abandoning someone they love. The emotional bond outweighs the signs of financial exploitation so they cling to the irrational belief that the relationship is real.